About rebeccaholden

I am an artist and graphic designer from Upper Hutt, New Zealand. My passion is painting and drawing

Sunday afternoon musings

– Going through that dark, insecure creative stage and like the Lorax picking yourself up by the tail and hightailing yourself out of there

studio-shot

The creative chaos of my studio

I’m in the studio on a Sunday afternoon, the rain is falling steadily and I have my cup of tea in hand ready to take on whatever invites itself to dance with me. And writing a blog put up it’s hand first which I gladly take, because you see I felt I had an experience I wanted to share.

A few months ago I was in that dark place that will be familiar to many creatives, I’d had had a great year last year with my first international show and had so many engaging experiences through my artwork. This year was starting a little more lack luster and I was feeling I was putting my heart & soul into proposals that were being rejected left right and centre. I got to that place of why, what’s the point, perhaps it really isn’t worth still making art. But still I dragged my sorry behind into the studio and I’m there and I make marks and I spread paint around and I become engrossed in what I’m doing and then this little voice whispers in my ear “Rebecca what the hell?! This stuff feeds your soul, why would you deny yourself this experience (and man I wouldn’t want to live with you if your weren’t making creatively – just saying)“. So I decided at that moment that I needed to allow myself to just make, I had this opportunity to experiment in the studio with no expectation what so ever – I was ready to give myself permission to simply make art. I even wrote myself a proper proposal (just like I would to a gallery, museum or for funding) and within moments of sending that to myself I received a very charming acceptance letter back. ‘Go for it’ it said ‘knock yourself out and lets see where the journey takes you’. Boy was that the most awesome thing to do!

Just after giving myself permission, a friend and fellow artist put me on to The Jealous Curator (Danielle if you ever read this you’re awesome! Thanks for sharing, for talking to others, for being vulnerable and strong and human). So now most days when I’m in the studio Daniel (The Jealous Curator) joins me in my studio chatting with other artists and I’m talking back at the podcast saying things like “yep know how that feels”, “yes” “no way!” while I’m painting away. It becomes pretty clear after listening to a few of the podcasts what a shared experience these dark places are (and the joyful places too!). Then recently I discover ‘Big Magic – Creative living without fear’ by Elizabeth Gilbert and I laugh and nod and talk to her book as well (I really must get out more!) and find it so affirming.

So here I am, sitting in the studio on a rainy Sunday afternoon, surrounded by works in various states of finish, I have made since giving myself permission to (some I think are going to get a nice covering of think paint – they just ain’t rocking my boat – how exciting!) . They are all so different – different painterly expressions, different mark making, some narrative, some not. I am in a much better space to be making my art – what ever form it may take, and I am absolutely loving it! Don’t get me wrong I’ve always loved making art with all it’s ups and downs. But what I’m loving is this new found freedom to make without expectation – Which is why I am sharing, because I know we all have moments of self doubt, of questioning why we do it, but it really is up to ourselves to decide what place it holds in our lives and what we are willing to do to feed it – and of course giving ourselves permission to do so.

– So put your game face on and go forth!

Advertisements

Wellington Regional Arts Review

R-Holden-Pirates-Write-sml

Pirates write what they imagine | Rebecca Holden 2018 | acrylic and oil on canvas

I was pleased to have this work titled ‘Pirates write what they imagine’ selected for the 2018 Wellington Regional Art Review. This exhibition is on show at Expressions Whirinaki in Upper Hutt, NZ until the 5th August.

Anzac Artist Residency

It’s April and I’ve begun my 3 week residency at NZ Pacific Studios in Northern Wairarapa. My arts project is dedicated to the remarkable women who ran the Aotea Convalescent Home for New Zealand soldiers in Heliopolis, Egypt during WW1. It’s aim is also to honour the communities of Whanganui, Wairarapa and Rangitikei who supported the home. The project is called ‘A Home Away From Home‘ because that’s the term the soldiers affectionately gave it. You can read more extensive writing about the project here.

I stopped at the Clareville cemetery in Wairarapa on my way to the residency to pay my respects to Kate Booth a sister from Aotea. She is buried in the RSA area of the cemetery

IMG_20180404_100423

 

Here I’ll post a few photos of work in progress as I begin to develop the individual paintings that will make up the body of work called ‘A Home Away From Home’

30412168_1688830191152660_7376433394021826560_o

My studio at NZ Pacific Studios Residency – the Autumn sun flooding in

IMG_20180322_170619

30712156_1696656383703374_8056946794292051968_o

Friday 20th April update:

This week on my residency has been a great journey of discovery. Not only with experimenting with different media but also getting to know my nurses a little more and a remarkable connection between my grandfather and one of the soldiers connected to my Anzac bridge fellowship.

IMG_20180420_095703

Studio shot of my works so far

Gareth Winter at the Wairarapa Archives has been a great help, a wealth of knowledge! Together we shared what information we had and with his help I’d discovered one of my nurses (Who I now feel I’m getting to know slowly) Lina McLaren had come from the Wairarapa not Whanganui which I’d mistakenly connected her with somewhere along the way. She married a Major she’d met at Aotea called Allan Standish Wilder. Gareth had found a photo of her in the archives, he’s such a good detective!

00-131-026-012

Lina featured here outside Aotea at Christmas – photo: Wairarapa Archives

Another rather surprising discovery this week has to do with the Kaiparoro Anzac Bridge (the Friends of the Bridge support my Anzac Artists Fellowship) I was looking into the service history of the men from WW1 who are memorialised on the bridge and to my surprise I discovered that Victor Falkner, who’s father built the bridge in honour of his son and the other local men who lost their lives, was in the Auckland Mounted Rifles just as my grandfather John (Jack) Culleton was. But not only that, they were both in the 4th Squadron! My grandfather having been wounded at Gallipoli the same month Victor was killed.

2018 Anzac Fellowship artist residency recipient

Fabulous news! I have been selected as the 2018 Anzac fellowship recipient which means I get to spend time at the fabulous NZ Pacific Studio artists residency. It’s a wonderful opportunity to work on a project that explores some of the roles NZ women took on during WW1. This is an extension of my Sand in the Apricot Jam project and is focused around the Aotea Convalescent Home in Egypt. This home was set up as it was recognised that the NZ soldiers needed somewhere to recuperate, a sort of home away from home to recover in. This was made possible by a group of women from Whanganui, NZ and was run my nurses and volunteers from the Whanganui & Wiarapapa regions. Also almost entirely funded by the fund raising efforts of the women from these regions.

I’m looking forward to making the most of this opportunity and to connect with the local community while doing so.

Saviours of Zion

Saviours-of-zion

I’ve been reading this recently published book on the ANZAC story from Sinai to Palestine during WW1 by Christopher J Wilson Archer. It’s an insightful read and great to have the story of the NZ Mounted Rifles told so well. It’s available for NZ$35 + postage. Contact savioursofzion@gmail.com to order a copy

Sand in the Apricot Jam Opens in Rishon LeZion

20171031044950_IMG_8086

The mayor of Rishon LeZIon Meir Nitzan, the Governor General of New Zealand Dame Patsy Reddy and Rebecca Holden the artist at the official opening of her exhibition

On the 30th of October Sand in the Apricot Jam was officially opened by the Governor General of New Zealand Dame Patsy Redding and Mayor of Rishon LeZion Meir Nitzan. attended by New Zealand and Israeli dignitaries and invited guests.

At the event the NZ Defence Force Maori cultural group  did a performance to honour the occasion and the men of the NZ Mounted Rifles. A friendship plaque was also unveiled  to honour the connection between the Mounted Rifles and Rishon LeZion.

It was a wonderful event hosted by the Municipality of Rishon LeZion and the NZ Embassy to Israel as part of the WW1 100 year commemorations. I am so thrilled to have played a part in honouring the men of the New Zealand Mounted Rifles through this exhibition during this time of commemoration and remembrance.

20171030_183959

Museum of Rishon LeZion exhibition opens to the public

Sand in the Apricot Jam‘ opened to the public on the 19th of October for a tour group of approximately 170 people organised by the Australian Light Horse Association. They are in Israel for the commemoration of the centenary of the Battle of Beersheba (31st October) and made time to visit the exhibition.

An official opening for invited guests hosted by the Municipality of Rishon LeZion and the NZ Embassy will be held on the 30th of October. The exhibition will run for 6 months alongside another exhibition ‘Liberation, Tidings & Hope’ on the connection between the ANZAC forces and Rishon LeZion during ww1.

HOLDEN-Ayun-Kara-Rishon-painting